F is Still for February…

On our last date night, my husband, Joe and I came up with the idea of doing/making/giving something each month that begins with the letter of that month.

Well, I wracked my brain and tore through my bookshelves and found the book, “For Better, Forever,” by Greg Popcak. This is a book about creating an exceptional marriage.  How fitting for this month!  So, I got my highlighter out and read through most of it.  Then, one night after the kiddos were in bed, I read Joe the parts I thought were relevant to us.

This activity sparked some good conversation.  We were able to discuss some of the areas we’d like to improve upon as well as where we thought we were doing things right. The whole process took about half an hour.  Not a large investment of time for a rewarding return.

Moments like these really help solidify a marriage.  Sometimes it’s difficult to discuss your life because it’s hard to be objective.  Reading and discussing a book can bring a couple closer together and help establish the emotional intimacy that is vital to an exceptional marriage.

The Love of St. Valentine

Happy St. Valentine’s Day.  It’s HIS day, you know…not the card store or the sweet shop’s day; St. Valentine’s Day.

So, what did he do to merit his own day?  He loved God with all his heart, mind and strength, that’s what.  He laid down his life for his friends.  He recognized Jesus as the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Valentine was a priest during the persecution under Claudius II.  When he was arrested and tortured in order to get him to renounce his faith, he didn’t cave.  So, they beat him and beheaded him.

 

 

Wow.  That’s love.

He loved God and his faith enough to give up his very life.  In Ephesians 5, St. Paul tells husbands that they must love their wives in this way.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and handed himself over for her, to sanctify her… (Eph 5:25-26)

Husbands should be ready to die for their wives, in order to help them get to heaven.  Does this mean that they should look for opportunities to throw themselves in front of a bus?  Absolutely not!  There are many forms of dying…dying to self being one of them…giving up certain comforts or inclinations as a sacrifice for your wife.  For example, taking on a certain household chore you know she hates, putting your clothes in the laundry instead of dropping them on the floor, making time each day to listen to her concerns and worries about her responsibilities.

In his letter to the Ephesians, St. Paul tells wives to be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.  I know, I know, this gets your hackles up, doesn’t it?  Well, let’s take a look at this.  First off, the word subordinate can mean dependent.  So, wives need to depend on their husbands to…what?  To die for us as Christ did for His Church.  We need to cooperate in that mission.  How do we do this?  By praying for our husbands that they will listen to God and cooperate with His will in their lives.

So, the scripture that seems extremely sexist and obnoxious, is actually not so at all, is it?

Don’t forget, though, that earlier in his letter, St. Paul instructs all of us to

…be imitators of God, as beloved children and live in love, as Christ handed Himself over for us as a sacrificial offering to God… (Eph 5: 1-2)

Wives are on the hook, too.  All of us are.  We are all called to love others with a  sacrificial love.  So, the next time you’re at the grocery store and the person behind you just has a few things, let them go in front of you.  When you’re completely spent and want to get to bed, stay up for just 10 more minutes and set the breakfast table for your family or set up your spouse’s coffee for the next morning.  Make small sacrifices daily and you will build up the grace to make a big sacrifice, if you are called to, at some point in your life.

Live your life like St. Valentine, who knew that all he was and all he had was from God and he lived his life for God, for His glory.  Remember that all of us are here to serve one another.  Christ demonstrated this when He washed His disciples’ feet.

The best way to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day is to be Christ to others.

Go for it.

 

F is for February

On our date Friday night, my husband, Joe and I came up with a novel idea to help keep our marriage fresh.  Each month, we will either buy or make each other a small gift, do an activity or make a new recipe that starts with the beginning letter of the month.

So, for February, we’ll be checking out recipes for Flank Steak.  And I’m secretly hoping Joe brings home flowers some night.  I can’t tell you what I’m planning for two reasons:

1. He reads my blog.

2. I haven’t thought of it yet.

But I love this idea!  It will keep us talking to each other about…each other.  And sharing in this way creates emotional intimacy.  And emotional intimacy translates into deeper intimacy in the marriage overall.

John Paul II, in his writings on Theology of the Body expounded upon how emotional intimacy is a building block of marriage. If you are interested in learning about this topic, check out the following books:

Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla (JPII)

Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West

Men and Women Are From Eden by Mary Healy